Matthew 5:4 — Christian Standard Bible
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Do you often find yourself wondering, what if?
What if there was no such thing as death; meaning, no one would ever die? The possibility that we could live forever, for eternity? To contemplate that there would be no such need for mourning. Especially for those who are dealing with or have dealt with the death of a child at birth, after a few hours, days, weeks, or months of life?
You question, why would God allow a baby to be born only to be taken away from their grieving parents, families, and everyone else?
Why would God allow such suffering for His people?
Romans 8:18 — English Standard Version
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
I can understand the time factor. The mere fact that people get old, weak, and sick, and no longer have the strength to move around and do things on their own. I can understand that, and I’ll be honest, often times it is still hard to take in and accept, but a baby, a toddler, or a young child, why? What purpose is there for this?
There is a weakness that I struggle with regarding death. Rather, it is losing someone, or my own life; there is constant fear of it.
To be honest, even now, as a believer and follower of the Lord, I often wonder, why would He, a loving and merciful God, a Father himself, allow such a tragedy as to take a life, especially that of a child?
The Church or her leaders cannot explain it. Pastors cannot explain it, I cannot explain it, I mean, even the Scriptures cannot explain why we lose loved ones, but it happens.
As Christians, we are taught that fear is not of God; that it has no place in our hearts, in our minds, and in our souls. Yet here, I am dealing with it, as I am sure others do as well.
1 John 4:18 — New King James Version
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.
There are many people who literally look forward to the day of their demise; they pray for that day. Not that they hope for death, but they say that they cannot wait for the day to walk in the clouds among the Angels. To be in Heaven near the Lord and rejoice with those who have passed on, as they reunite in the Kingdom of Glory with them.
It is said that this place, this world, is not our home. So in their way of thinking, in the way that many of us should be thinking, going to Heaven is, going home. There is no denying that this would be a beautiful moment, but I Can’t Say Goodbye.
As for me, I cannot shake off the fear of death or thinking of someone close to me dying. It is a thought that is with me constantly. I do not know why, and I cannot explain why. All I know is that, unlike many others, there is constant fear, every day, of my last day of life.
Revelation 21:4 — English Standard Version
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
I am going to share with you a few quick stories. Story number 1. I was too young to remember my little brother David. I was only a year old when he was born, and unfortunately there wasn’t much my parents could tell me about him because he only lived 1 day. He was born on December 31, 1970, and on January 1, 1971, he passed away.
I wondered my entire life and still wonder till this day what my life would have been like having David with us. For me, to have a baby brother. Someone younger that I would be living with, growing up with and to experience the feeling of having him follow me around and look at me not only as his Big Brother, but quite possibly, his hero, or maybe even his role-model. I honestly do not believe that I have ever had that impact on anyone, so to think that David could have been the one, really breaks me.
Well, I did not get that privilege because God felt it was more important to take him from us, then to keep him with us, but why?
What purpose would God have or need for a 1-day-old baby?
Didn’t Jesus himself say that He wanted us to be like little children?
Matthew 18:3 — English Standard Version
“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
So, according to Scripture, if we want to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, we must become like little children. Here is the problem that I have with that.
If God wants us to be like children, how can we model them if they are not here long enough for us to be like them?
As I mentioned earlier, I have a hard time dealing with loss, with death.
Another quick story, story number 2. I lost my grandmother and my grandfather from both my mom’s side, and my dad’s side. My grandmother from my dad’s side, my father’s mom, basically raised me and was my Mama and my guardian for most of my life. When she passed away back in 2002, it was probably the worst time of my entire life. Losing the woman who raised me, my Angel, my life, my world, I felt like I had lost everything, like my heart had stopped beating. Even to this day, 20 years later, I still break-down at the thoughts and the memories of her life.
Then in 2013, story number 3. I dealt with another tragedy in which, at that point, I could have died, and I would have been OK with it. I lost my father and seeing him in the hospital bed and all the doctors and nurses on top of him trying to revive him is the image I would always remember and long to forget. To have the doctor after hours of trying to revive him come to me and have me decide if they should continue to try and bring him back to life and be the cause of him being brain-dead, comatose (as the doctor worded it), and live the little bit of life he has left as a zombie, on a breathing machine, unable to speak or move, and maybe not even survive another night, or should they just stop and announce the time and pronounce him dead.
I lost my dad that day and, after the feeling of losing my grandmother, this was by far, the worst feeling ever. Here I lost everything that meant anything to me. How can I go on living and continuing life without my dad, my hero, my role-model, my world, with me?
Well, I had to find a way to go on. I was and am a father myself, and I had to somehow be strong for my own children who had just lost their grandfather. I had to be strong for my wife, who lost my dad, her father-in-law, who she also loved dearly. Then, there’s my younger brother and sisters who I also had to be strong for, who were also at the hospital with me. Yet, still dealing with being the weaker vessel among all.
At this point in my life, I had lost all my faith in God. I blamed him, hated him, and even resented him. I figured if this God could take someone like my grandmother and my father, who both had this amazing heart, gentle soul and such care and kindness, if he could take them from us, why would I want to worship this kind of God? What am I missing? Am I blind and foolish that I cannot see His Love? Then I reflect on my baby Brother David, and it makes me even angrier; it just does not make any sense.
Why does God take such good people away from those who need them? I hear about Him being a loving, gentle and kind God; how? Does He Even Care? The answer to that is in,
Psalm 116:15 — New Living Translation
The Lord cares deeply when his loved ones die.
It was not until years later, when I became a Christian, that all of this started to make a little sense, but I still did not fully grasp the reasoning. But I know now that God does not purposely end someone’s life because He wants to. Sure, God can save the life of someone if they are on their death bed. No doubt that God can revive someone who had a heart attack or bring back to life someone who has flat-lined. We have all read and heard that God brings sight to a person who is blind and hearing to the deaf. He can straighten the legs of a paralytic and make a lame walk. Do we dare say that He can as easily take a life as He gives life?
John 11: 43-44 — New International Version
43 -When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44- The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”
Matthew 4:23 — New English Translation
Jesus went throughout all of Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the Gospel of the Kingdom, and healing every kind of disease and sickness among the people.
But what if He chooses not to?
We must believe that there is a reason and a purpose to why things happen, and only God can explain them.
- Maybe someone is 5 minutes late for a get-together, and because of those 5 minutes, they avoid a car accident that could have killed them.
- A person changes their style and taste of music, and because of this, they do not attend a concert that they were invited to, and on that night, at that concert, a gunman walks in and many are shot and killed.
- You get the stomach flu, and you call off work. As you are lying in bed watching the news, you see that a plane crashed into the building where you work, and everyone died.
There are no coincidences when it comes to God and His ways; it’s either you have Faith, or you don’t.
As for me, I have gone through a near death experience, not once, or twice, but nearly 5 times, maybe more. Of course, mine were not as drastic as those examples I just shared, but nonetheless. I nearly died; I did die, but doesn’t God know everything? Doesn’t He know the outcome of our lives? For He is the one who creates our path, our journey, our future; He has planned our lives, and orchestrated and continues to orchestrate our steps.
Can we believe and come to the understanding that if The Creator of man takes someone from this world, whom He himself created, that He knows that in the days, weeks, or years to come, that the decisions, the life, and the directions that will be taken, are going to destroy this person, rather than giving them a full and happy life? What should a loving God do?
Matthew 24:36 — English Standard Version
But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.
These past two years, the world has suffered through the pandemic of the Corona Virus, (Covid-19). At the beginning of this deadly virus, many people and families had to isolate themselves, to be safe and prevent the spread of this virus or the chance of catching it. Many times, I find myself thinking if my dad and my grandparents were still alive, how would they have dealt with this virus.
I used to visit my grandmother 3-5 times a week after work. Just to make sure she was OK and just to see her smiling face. She had a way of her that when she would smile, or laugh, it always took away all my troubles and worries, nothing seemed to bring me down any longer, all my struggles were irrelevant, she was my Angel. She loved having company over and there were always people and family visiting. I think about her still being here with us today. How would she have handled the quarantine? How she would have handled not having us visit her for over 6 months. She was in her 80s and was not computer savvy. So there was no way for her to zoom or face-time the family. I mean, until the day that she passed away, she still had the home phone hanging on the wall in the kitchen. So she literally would be on her own, just her and my grandfather.
Then I think about my dad. My father and I lived in the same 2-floor building, or we lived just a couple blocks away, but we were never far from each other. We, as well, saw each other constantly. If, during this pandemic, he came to visit me and his grandchildren, and I would have him standing outside on the porch while me, my wife and our boys spoke to him from the glass screen door, or from the window, afraid to get close to him and make him sick by spreading the virus to him, to be isolated or quarantined where I couldn’t see him or hug him, this would literally destroy me, and I can’t even fathom what it would have done to my Dad. The same feeling with his other grandchildren from his recent marriage. My dad could not handle or survive being isolated from his family. I would be so scared, so worried about him, being out and about. I would be fearful of him catching this virus and getting sick or, worse case, dying from it. No, I Can’t Say Goodbye, not like this. But, many, many, families and people had to.
Quite honestly, I would not want to see my dad or any of my grandparents wearing a face-mask, looking afraid and heartbroken about what is happening and how it is keeping them from family and friends.
By God’s Mercy and Grace, my mom is still with us. She lives in another state, so I don’t get to see her often, maybe once every two or three years if she comes to town, but I do talk with her by phone at least every weekend or every other weekend. My sister who lives with her, and my other sisters that are near her, see her and often send pictures or videos of Mom to our other siblings who are not in the same state, including myself.
I remember the pain my mom and my siblings went through when they had to social distance from our mother for a few months. Again, the fear of getting her sick or spreading this virus to her. The pain in my mom’s voice, explaining how hard it was for her, to not hug or kiss her children or grandchildren. Seeing and hearing her cry, feeling hurt and so alone, so far, yet many were so close.
So, I’m going a bit off track here. I don’t want to make this story about the pandemic, but it’s relatable considering that this pandemic has led to hundreds of thousands of deaths. The fear of death from this pandemic has increased in the lives of people. It has surely increased in myself and my family.
The last story I will share and then we will move on. Let me tell you about my wife, who has been mentally and emotionally tormented by this virus. Since the beginning of the whole pandemic, my wife has yet to go shopping at a store. She hasn’t seen her family since 2020, and even some way before then. And, we have not been to church on Sunday Mornings since early 2020. She was already fearful in so many ways of everything. The fear of death with her is way worse than it is with me. So imagine, if you will, a person living in this way, where joy, rest and peace are non-existent. Then you add the mere fact that she doesn’t have a relationship with the Lord, then you have someone who is lost in so many ways. I’m growing in my faith and learning little by little every day about God and who He is. I can share with her the beauty of Living In Christ, but if I am holding my part of fear and worry, how can I tell her, to give it to God and trust in Him in every way? Fear is winning the battle over Faith, in our home, and in our lives.
But as Christians, we are told not to fear death, but to rejoice at the thought of it.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 – New International Version
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
I don’t like to think that I am weak because of my fear of death. But, Rejoice? I just cannot find myself doing this. How can I?
Philippians 2:17-18 — New English Translation
17 But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice together with all of you. 18 And in the same way you also should be glad and rejoice together with me.
In Philippians 2:17-18, Paul describes that He is willing to die in the service of strengthening and purifying the faith of the people of Philippi.
Paul ends verse 17 by saying,
“I am glad and rejoice together with all of you.” Then He adds in Verse 18,“Likewise, you also should be glad and rejoice together with me.”
Not only does Paul rejoice at the prediction of the course of his own death, but he tells them to rejoice with him.
He had already told them why he rejoiced at the prospect of his death.
Philippians 1:23 — English Standard Version
My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.
Most likely, that is why Paul thinks the people of Philippi should rejoice as well. They love Paul. So, when Paul is “with Christ”, that will be “far better.”
Jesus spoke this same way to his disciples:
John 14:28 — New International Version
“You heard me say, ‘I am going away, and I am coming back to you.’ If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I.”
“If you love me, rejoice at my departure.”
Can we do this? Can we honestly rejoice when we lose a loved one, even though we know that they are going to Heaven? That they will reunite with family and friends? That they or we will be in the presence of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior?
My father will reunite with His Mother, and my Father will also reunite with his son, my baby Brother, David.
Or should I be selfish, because I Can’t Say Goodbye, and wish them all still here with me?
It is said, that you can always feel a departed member still near and dear in your heart. I know this to be true, because I feel my Dad and grandmother with me constantly, just like I feel the Lord Jesus Christ in my heart the same way. We do not have Jesus Christ with us in the flesh, but we feel his Blessings, His Love, and His Mercy and Grace all day, every day. We know He died on the Cross and later ascended into Heaven, yet He is with us all the time.
It is not about treasuring the memories; it’s about living as they lived.
Be humble.Respect Everyone.
Be good and kind to others.
Give to all without expecting in return.
Speak in gentleness, with a gentle heart.
Forgive and ask for forgiveness. Bare No Grudge.
And most importantly, Love, like they loved, as God loves.
Maybe you are like me, and you Can’t Say Goodbye; maybe it’s just too difficult, and you refuse to let go. Just think of the goodbye you are holding onto, as the Hello, Welcome Home; “My good and Faithful Servant you are holding them from,” which is coming from God to them. God called them home. God found that He needed them more and wanted them more than I did; then we did; then we do. God knew it was their time. He knew this world had nothing else to offer them, or do for them. He knows Best. The Lord’s timing is always perfect in every aspect of the way; whether we see it or not, whether we believe it or not.
So, Dad, Mama, David, and everyone else I have lost who was close and dear to me. I could not say goodbye, but I am so thankful that you are together and are at Home.
John 14:2 — GOD’S WORD Translation
My Father’s house has many rooms. If that were not true, would I have told you that I’m going to prepare a place for you?
I read on social media earlier today a post which I will share with you now. It said, “Worry is an absence of faith and a lack thereof. You’ll either be faithful, trusting God’s Promises, or you’ll be fearful, believing the lies of the devil. Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you very busy… doing nothing.
I do not have a lack of faith. Maybe it’s not fully developed. Maybe I just need the Lord to give me the strength to overcome fear and worry. Or, just maybe, I need to hear more of His Word. For the more I receive, and the more time I spend with God, the less I will fear.
“Death is the biggest fear of man. It’s a loss for the world. The deaths of many great leaders, public figures, even our dearest friends, family members, etc., are counted as a loss that can not be compensated with anything. But was the death of Christ a loss for the world? Of course, it would be a loss like other public figures if he hadn’t been resurrected. But He defeated death and sin by dying as a Man, fulfilling the righteousness of God! It’s only through His death that the fallen man gets access to Eternal Life. Christ rose from death so that those who remain in Him will also rise after their death! Death is not the end, but only the beginning of Eternal Life for those who love, believe, and follow Christ! For those whose Life is Christ, dying is an eternal gain, and they never fear death!”
Quoted by: Shyam Balachandran
Rejoice, I Say Again, Rejoice.
Psalm 73:26 — New International Version
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Willie Torres Jr.
Hello Brothers and Sisters in Christ. My name is William Torres (My family and friends call me Willie).
I am a New Christian or as I like to say, “A Toddler Christian,’ being saved as of 2017.
From a very young age, my family always told me that I had a calling. I got involved with the church in my early teen years and served as a Altar Boy at my church, was a Youth Group Leader, and even a member of a Trio music group (Church Group), which we would perform in Church Youth Rallies.
Their was definitely a calling. What I was missing throughout all this was a relationship with Jesus Christ. I was serving and loving the church and those around me, but not serving and loving the Lord.
It wasn’t until depression, isolation and suicidal thoughts that the Lord, finally said, “Okay, Willie, are you done? Let me In, Take a hold of my Hand,” and that was 2017, and I have been walking, skipping, singing and dancing with the Lord ever since.
I started to write stories which I believe were led by the Holy Spirit; many of which are testimonies and different trials I have endured and how the Lord has gotten me through them and to overcome them.
I enjoy encouraging others in the Lord Jesus Christ through my writings, and I can only pray that those who read them, will be Blessed by Gods Words.
I am nowhere near perfect but I Worship a God who is.
I have a long way to go and so much yet to learn, but one thing is for certain, I Am Not Alone, and as hard as this was to accept and Believe, I thank God for creating in me a clean heart.
I thank Truth Hunters and Lyn Leahz for the opportunity to allow me to share my writings with you all and as we say in Our Facebook Ministry, I Hope to Grow In Christ Together With You.
You Are Loved
Willie Torres Jr.